I spent two consecutive weekends volunteering with my Search & Rescue Unit Cal-ESAR in Paradise and want to share some additional thoughts around this experience. Anyone living in Northern California were affected in one way or another by the fires, either directly, knowing someone directly displaced or harmed, or through poor air quality. [Read more…]
My journey to Paradise
My son and I volunteered this weekend with our Search & Rescue Unit Cal-ESAR in Paradise, CA. We were part of a huge effort of hundreds of first responders and volunteer search & rescue units from all around California. I’m sure there were units from other states as well. I saw units represented by the army, national guard, police & sheriff, firefighters, coroners, chaplains. The base was in Oroville and it was amazing for me to witness such an effort. The whole park was sequestered and everyone there was certified to be there. There were command centers, food units serviced by prisoners, laundry and decontamination shower units, organized spaces for various units to camp. They passed out Tyvex suits, booties, respirators and gloves.
The Art of Mindful Communication
Yesterday, I was very fortunate to experience the powerful honesty of a truly grounded, powerful and vulnerable man at #lifewestwave. This man was physically unbecoming – petit in build and short in stature, yet he filled the room with his immense passion for connection and understanding. Lee Mun Wha is an internationally renowned Chinese American documentary filmmaker, author, poet, Asian folk teller, educator, community therapist and master diversity trainer. He directed and produced the internationally-acclaimed film “The Color of Fear” amongst others, and has authored several books as well. He’s been on Opra, worked with the Pentagon, been on TEDx, and yet he’s so humble and clearly uninterested in fame. He is a man on a mission.
I cannot even begin to give this man justice in describing who he is and what he embodies, since I only recently had less than an hour of his time in a crowded, large hotel ballroom presentation. One thing he made very clear from the outset was that being on one’s smart phone texting during a presentation or conversation is not just rude but dishonoring. He had complete control of the entire room. And he used his power and directive to teach each of us how to meet our respective neighbors sitting next to us. He directed us in ways to openly and honestly communicate back and forth about each other. I realized through this exercise just how rushed I usually am, and how little I actually hear.
As a health care provider, this is huge, since I so often just hear and write down what the patient says hurts and I look for the mechanism of injury, and most likely fail to hear what is REALLY going on in their life at that time. Being a holistic practitioner I appreciate the mind-body connection, but even with the diagnostic tools I utilize, listening and being completely present are the most powerful tools. How is this possible in a healthcare system where physicians are pressured to a 7 minute office visit?! Luckily I have the latitude to spend much more time than that. But even all the time in the world won’t make a significant difference without a presence of mind.
The essence I came away with from Lee Min Wah’s talk is that the only way we can bridge the gap of our differences with others is through vulnerability. And to learn to listen – with all our senses, and especially our hearts. Learning to listen to what’s being said, and to what’s NOT being said in a conversation offers a way to bridge the gap between people of varying backgrounds.
Below is a gift from Lee Mun Wah, 9 ways to communicate. It is my hope that by passing on this information will inspire you to try them and to see what new openings may result in your life.
Enjoy!
9 Healthy Ways to Communicate:
- Reflect back what is being said. Use their words, not yours.
- Begin where they are, not where you want them to be.
- Be curious and open to what they are trying to say.
- Notice what they are saying and what they are not.
- Emotionally relate to how they are feeling. Nurture the relationship.
- Notice how you are feeling. Be honest and authentic.
- Take responsibility for your part in the conflict or misunderstanding.
- Try to understand how their past affects who they are and how those experiences affect their relationship with you.
- Stay with the process and the relationship, not just the solution.
(copyright – Stirfry Seminars & Consulting, www.stirfryseminarscom)
Health Club Tips
I enjoy going to the gym and working out, as do many others. Having grown up in the early 1980’s, I recall going to the gym in high school. Those days, free weights were the only game in town. I recall that at least in my weight room, there were very few rules governing weight lifting, and the only goal was lifting the weights, the heavier the better. Looking back, I cringe and wonder how we all survived! I still vividly remember seeing a scrawny, awkward teenager on the bench press arching his back all the way up, and losing his stabilization so that the entire weight bar swung downward, with straight arms, onto his thighs! Or how I went to put the bar back and missed the holds, such that I had to let go of the bar over my head so as not to tear my arms off (admittedly, this happened a couple decades later, but it adds to the story line!). Form and technique is crucial, both for safety and results. I am told that in Eastern Europe, where weight lifting has evolved to its highest form, competitive athletes don’t even add weights until their form is perfect!
Taxes, Stress, Posture & Breath
Money and politics, budgets and finances. All of this can easily lead to a downward spiral where stress affects your health and well-being. What’s a body to do? How do you manage the stresses around you? When we are stressed out we tend to chest breathe. This is generally a shallow breath, one related to a fight-or-flight response.